Fingerprints
by Ti-girl
Summary: There's something Mac's not telling...and Harm's not sure he wants to know.
1. Chapter 1

A/N – In history, different groups believed that when you touched someone you left a little piece of yourself on their skin through their fingerprints.

The silence was deafening. All she could hear was her breathing and her heart. The off white walls threatened to engulf her, the air in her apartment thick with the Maryland humidity. Her television flickered dully as the Orioles took the field against the Blue Jays. Her dark eyes watched the players in their white uniforms throw the ball around. They were tall, dark…she couldn't take it anymore.

Her hands shook as she counted the pills on her table. Two…four…six…she lost count. Her tears blurring her vision. They were small and white and looked so much like candy. They were to help her sleep the label said. Dreamless sleep. Sarah Mackenzie rolled two around in her palm as someone rounded the bases. Two would be enough. For now.

Harmon Rabb Jr. pulled his navy blue pillow over his head. He kicked his matching sheets off and flailed on his bed. The air stuck to his body and condensed in his numerous windows. He closed his eyes tightly. Maybe people were right, maybe their relationship was just more than platonic.

"You've come with me farther than anyone else ever has. I'll never forget that Mac." Harm said. They were in Russia looking for his father. She was the only one that went along with his sometimes crazy, sometimes neurotic plans. She was stronger than anyone else he knew. She was his best friend.

_They had both heard it before. The looks they shared, the stolen smiles, the soft touches. But both of them swore, vehemently, that there was nothing between them. They, indeed were that stupid._

Harm sat up and ran his hands through his short hair. They had argued over a case before. But nothing like this. It hit far too close to home. He was defending a SEAL who was charged with murdering his best friend's fiancée. Harm knew exactly how he felt. Hopeless. Watching his best friend slip away to another man that would never be good enough, knowing that he was the best one for her.

He told Mac, about the case, not about his feelings.

"So he killed him because he was jealous?"

"He thought he was saving her."

"Gee, I would LOVE to be saved by a murderer."

"Come on Mac. He was doing what he thought was best. They had been friends forever…and he couldn't bare to see her, in his words, throwing her life away."

"So he killed him. He couldn't have sat down and talked about his feelings for her? That he was in love with her?"

Harm ran his hand over his chin. "Mac…some people can't…verbalize their feelings like that." His blue eyes closed briefly. God, I know I can't. He thought.

"But he didn't have to kill him. He's a murderer Harm. Plain and simple. He's NOT crazy, he knew what he was doing." Her dark eyes flashed with annoyance and shame. She was hiding something behind her always-tough demeanour.

"He said he had no other choice. And besides, you know that if someone was doing what happened to her…I would be in the same position."

Mac rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Right. Been there. Done that." She said icily.

"Pardon me?" Harm's eyes narrowed. "Been there? Done that? Do you care to explain?"

"No. Now please leave my office Harm. I have work to do." She sat down at her desk and glowered at the man standing in front of her.

"Maaaac…" His voice trailed off. He walked around to the side of her desk and grabbed her arm. "Don't shut me out."

"Commander. Out. NOW."

He bit his lower lip. "You know Mac…maybe your relationships would last longer if you weren't so cold." As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew it was a mistake. "Mac…I'm…"

Her dark eyes were full of fire. "Get out of my office." She said, her voice barely above a whisper but dripped with venom. "Now."

His fingers played over the cold plastic of his telephone. He knew he should call. But he also knew that Mac had caller ID and wouldn't pick up. His body shivered as he stood up, the sticky air sticking to his almost naked body. He couldn't sleep. The sky outside was a shade closer to purple than it was black, the clouds low in the sky. He pulled a shirt over his bare chest, a pair of loose fitting jeans over his hips. Grabbing his keys to is SUV he slammed the door behind him.

He drove the road that he knew like the back of his hand. The curves, the bends, the stop signs. His blue eyes scanned the road before pulling up in front of Mac's apartment building. Her lights were off, but the blue glow from her TV lit the room. Sighing, he shut off the motor and stepped out.

"Mac…Mac…open the door." Harm banged on Mac's front door, not caring how loud he was being. "Come on…I know you're awake…" Finally, after hammering on her door, he used his key and let himself in.

Mac's apartment was the way it normally was. Except for Mac. Her body was strewn on her couch like a ragdoll, her hair covering her closed eyes.

"Mac…Mac…wake up. We have to talk." Harm hovered over her prone body. The pills she had been so carefully counting were on the floor. He knelt down and picked them up, his fingers shaking.  
There was something wrong with the scene, more than just the pills and the obviously self drugged Mac. Something that she was hiding, and he knew it might be more than he could take.

**English is not my first language, so please go easy on me. And it's my first ever Fic. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

Harm busied himself, cleaning up the mess on Mac's coffee table

A/N – Thank you for all the great replies. It is hard enough to write, let alone in your second language! This chapter is much slower…I am sorry, but the next one will hopefully start to explain some things!

**Disclaimer – Do not own JAG or their characters. I am just playing with them.**

Harm busied himself, cleaning up the mess on Mac's coffee table. He read the pill labels with a deep sigh, his brain moving a lot faster than his body. Part of him knew he shouldn't be here, whatever she was fighting, it was up to her. She didn't want him, nor did she need him there. The rest of him knew that he had to be there, for him and for her. He opened a window to allow the hot muggy air move. His eyes stared outside in the empty parking lot, his thoughts taking him somewhere else. Slowly he dragged himself to the overstuffed chair and sat down. It took hours before sleep washed over him, but washed over him it did.

Mac opened her eyes, blinking wildly at the bright light that was infiltrating her eyelids from the opened window. Her gaze fell on Harm who was sleeping, rather uncomfortably it seemed, on her armchair. She pulled the long-sleeved shirt over her arms despite the heat and pulled her knees up to her chest. "Sometimes giving people keys to your apartment isn't a good idea." She mumbled. Harm opened his eyes and stared at her.

"Sorry. You didn't answer when I knocked on your door." He said softly, stretching his arms behind his head.

"I...was sleeping." She mumbled into her knees.

"I saw." He stood up and walked behind the couch, leaning forward, resting his chin on her head. "Having problems sleeping?"

She sighed and reached up and placed her hands on his arms. "I guess you could say that."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He offered softly.

Pulling her arms down and freeing herself from the makeshift hug, she shook her head. "Not really."

"Do you at least want to go out for breakfast?"

Mac looked at the clock to double check her instincts. 7:48 am. Saturday. And neither of them were working. She shrugged. "Okay…if that's what you want. I'll just go slip into the shower."

Harm nodded. "Take all the time you need." He ran his hands through his hair. "Though, we are going to have to stop by my place so I can change."

Mac looked over her shoulder with a lifeless smile. "I guess so, sailor."

He chuckled softly, not because what she said was funny, but because he didn't know what else to do. He watched Mac disappear into her bedroom and waited until he heard the water run before he buried his head in his arms. He knew that if he didn't get Mac to open up, it could potentially hurt her even more than it already was…and him in the process.

Mac let the hot water run down, her skin turning red from the heat. She closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of her new soap and shampoo. She scrubbed hard as if she was ridding herself of her Olive toned skin. Stopping, she glared at the angry red marks on her arms that were now just healing. She scrubbed harder, trying to wipe clean all the memories that they held.

She appeared a few minutes later, her brown hair damp and wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a red long sleeved top. "Okay Harm, we can swing by your place."

He looked up and gave her a small smile. "Good, because I don't think people would appreciate it if I walked around in my pyjamas all day."

Mac rolled her eyes, but gave him a smile in return. Harm got up and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Let's go Marine, I know how grumpy you get when you're hungry."

They drove in silence to Harm's apartment where he pulled his SUV into the parking spot. "Come on up Mac, it'll just be a few minutes."

Even though it was still morning, the air was still sticky and hot with rain. Mac followed behind Harm, tugging her sleeves over her arms. "Aren't you hot?"

Mac shook her head. "No…" she lied not meeting Harm's eyes.

He held the door open for Mac, frowning, but didn't say anything. "Just gonna go hop in the shower…"

"Sure." She sat down on the edge of the couch. Her head spun. She swallowed hard, trying to force the bile down that was rising. Then the phone rang.

"Hey Mac, can you get that?" Harm called from the shower.

She picked up the phone. "Hello?"

A female voice was on the other end of the line. "Oh..hi…could I speak to Commander Rabb please?"

"He's in the shower. Can I take a message?"

"Uh…can you tell him that Jade called?"

"Sure, and this is regarding?"

There was a silence on the end of the line. "He'll know. Thanks."

Mac's hands shook as she replaced the phone.

Harm walked out of his room wearing some grey khaki shorts and a blue polo shirt, drying his hair. "Hey, what's wrong Mac? Who was on the phone?"

Her eyes were dead again, like someone had sucked all the life out from them. "Someone named Jade?"


	3. Chapter 3

Harm dropped Mac off at her apartment after she swore that she had a stomachache and she wouldn't be good company

**A/N – Thanks to everyone for their reviews. This chapter we learn who Jade is. Before people ask, I was not involved with any of this stuff…but in my line of work (I work with inner city youth) I tend to see it more often than not.**

**As always reviews are encouraged.**

Harm dropped Mac off at her apartment after she swore that she had a stomachache and she wouldn't be good company. Harm knew that she was upset over the phone call but was in no mood to argue. His head hurt from the lack of sleep, his body hurt from sleeping on the small armchair, but most of all his soul hurt from seeing his best friend and partner in so much pain.

He pulled into his parking spot and shut off the ignition. He knew Mac was hurting, but he didn't know why, and knowing Mac, she wouldn't tell him even if he asked.

Jade was a long legged blonde. With sky blue eyes. And dumb as a post. Mac knew it. She knew her type. Harm's type. They were always the same. And she was positive that this JADE was one of them. She could tell by her voice, sweet and high pitched and grated on her nerves. Everything was going wrong in her life. She couldn't get anything right, never could. Even in elementary school she was the girl that sat in the back of the class because she just didn't get the lessons. Her drinking, Chris, Mic and now Harm. She screwed everything up.

Her hands shook as she began to set things up, it had become a ritual for her, a cleansing ritual. Rubbing alcohol, a Henckels knife, a towel that smelled of bleach and bandages. She cleared her table and sat back. Emotion boiled under the surface, stuff that she couldn't handle. She slid the steel blade across her arms, feeling the slight pain and the warm blood running down. The white towel staunched the flow of blood before she repeated the action. Over and over. She never cried out. Her eyes were following the trail of blood that ran down her arm and pooled in the soft white towel. The metallic smell of blood filled her nostrils mixed with the scent of bleach. She leaned back on her couch and sighed as the burning sensation set in.

Harm cradled the phone under his chin as he plucked away at the guitar strings. He sighed and waited for the person on the other line pick up.

"'Looo?" An accented voice picked up the phone, an accent that Harm had gotten so very used to hearing.

"Hey Jackson. Could you put Jade on please?" Harm asked with a short laugh.

"Ooooh yeah...suuure." The young man drawled into the phone. He walked over to Jade who was highlighting something madly in an open book. "It's for you."

Jade glared at Jackson, but put the phone to her ear. "Hi, Jade speaking."

"Hi Jade. It's Harm."

"Hi Harm. What's up?" She leaned back on the chair and put a cap on her highlighter. "Or let me guess...same thing as before?"

Harm sighed. "Yeah. Same thing."

"Have to talked to her?"

"No...it's...just. Mac and I. We're...we're best friends. It's not as if I can sit down and go 'Okay Mac. What's going on? And I'm not leaving until you tell me.'"

Jade laughed. "You men really ARE dense, aren't you? That's exactly what you need to do Harm."

His voice caught in his throat. "Jade..."

She chewed on the highlighter cap her in hands. "Do you want me to come over?"

He nodded. "Yeah...I mean."

"Harm, I get it. I'll drop Jack off and we can talk."

"Thanks Jade."

"I still owe you Harm." She pressed off on the phone and closed her eyes.

"So, what's the plan?" Jackson asked, his mouth full of whatever he was eating.

"I'll drop you off at the field...then I have to go talk to Harm. Can you get a ride home?" She said shaking her head.

"Yeah, probably. You gonna talk to him about..." His voice trailed off as he looked at his sister. "I'll see you later."

Jade nodded and pulled her sleeves down her arms.

"Why?"

Jade took a swallow of water before she answered. "Control."

"Control?"

She nodded and rolled her sleeves up slightly. "Control. When...mom and dad died, I had no control over anything. Everything was so regimented the only thing I had control over was the pain. The amount...when. That's why I did it."

"Did you want to...kill yourself?" Harm asked his fingers gently sliding along the lip of the bottle of water he was drinking.

A grin crossed Jade's face. "You know better than that." She said. "No. I never wanted to kill myself. I never did it for attention. I did it because there was no other way I could express the pain. And that was the only way I could. I had to be strong. I was, on the outside. On the inside I was a wreck." She rolled her sleeves up. Marks covered her arms. "That's probably why your friend is doing it. Is there something going on in her life? Changes?"

Harm shrugged, knowing very well that everything in Mac's life was slowly disintegrating.

Jade ran her hand on the back of Harm's with a sad smile. "I should go Harm. But, if you want, Jackson has a game tomorrow in Charlottesville. If you can convince your friend to come, I'll talk to her. And Jack really wants to show you his stuff."

Nodding Harm wrapped her in a one armed hug. "Thanks kid. Even if I can't get Mac to come, I'll be there. I haven't seen Jack in a while."

Jade smiled. "He'll like that. Bye Harm."

"I'll see you tomorrow kid, and drive safe."

Waving, Jade quietly shut the door. She pulled her sleeves over her arms again


	4. Chapter 4

"A picnic

"A picnic?" Mac asked wrinkling her nose.

"Yes, a picnic. Out it Charlottesville. I want you to meet someone." Harm said with a smile.

"Jade?" Mac asked, the dislike obvious in her face and in her voice. She played with the hems of her white long sleeved top.

"Yeah, Jade and her brother Jackson. I know them from way back." Harm started. He saw Mac's eyebrow rise slightly. "Their father was a fighter pilot. He was killed during the Gulf War. Their mother was a Marine who was also killed in the Gulf War. It left Jade and her two brothers alone with no family. So I helped her get custody of her brothers." He said remembering the case. "Jade had just turned 18 with her brothers James who was 15 and Jackson who was just 11." It took weeks in child services before Harm proved that Jade would be the best guardian for her brothers. "Jade is finishing her social work degree, James is training to be a pilot like his dad and Jackson…is still just a kid. I don't even know if he remembers everything." He shrugged.

Mac watched Harm. The kids were obviously close to him, Jade was obviously not who she thought she was. "You really want to go see them, don't you?"

"Yeah. And I think…you'd like Jade." He said quietly.

"Okay Harm. If it means that much to you, I'll come."

Harm flashed his famous smile. "Great. We're supposed to meet them there around noon."

"So we have about two hours and twenty three minutes." Mac said without looking at her watch. "And I have no food to bring."

"There's a reason why I came early Marine." Harm reached out and gently took her hand. "We've got more than enough time to pick up some food."

A smile crossed Mac's face. "That would be great. Do you know what they eat?"

"Last time I remember, Jade is pretty much a vegetarian. Jackson…is a teenaged boy. I'm sure he eats anything." Harm laughed.

"Well, we should go grab some food now then so we're not late seeing as Charlottesville is over an hour away." Mac said sighing.

They pulled up into the park that Jade had specified, about 15 minutes away from the University of Virginia campus. Harm was just pulling the food out of the trunk when Jade pulled up. Rolling his eyes at her choice of vehicle Harm smiled.

"Pick up truck Jade?"

Jade nodded with a girl. "It's my baby. Gotta have something I can throw all my gear in." She said with a laugh.

"Gear? Don't tell me you're still playing hockey."

Jade shrugged. "I won't tell you."

Jackson appeared beside Harm. "Hi sir." He said softly. The boy had grown so much since the last time he saw him. He was close to Harm's height, maybe a couple inches shorter, broad but still losing the childlike fat.

"Jackson! How's it going buddy?" Harm gave the youth a tight hug.

"Fine sir." He smiled. He extended his hand to Mac who was leaning against the side of the vehicle. "Ma'am. I'm Jackson Lewis."

Mac shook his hand. "Major Sarah Mackenzie. You can call me Mac. How did you know I was in the military?"

"The way you stand Ma'am." He said shyly.

Jade appeared behind him. "You stand the way Mom used to." She said softly. Her face broke into a soft smile. "Jade Lewis."

Mac shook her hand. She was right at least about the leggy blonde part. Jade stood eye to eye with her, though was probably about forty pounds heavier. The build of an athlete. Her curly hair fell below her ears in messy ringlets. Mac knew why her name was Jade. Her eyes were the colour of the precious stone, something she and her brother shared. "Nice to meet you Jade."

"Feeling is mutual Ma'am. The Commander has spoken a lot about you." She elbowed her brother who reached out and grabbed the food Mac was carrying.

"Here Ma'am. Allow me." He smiled and loaded his arms with food. Harm winked at Mac and followed Jackson into the park. Mac smiled as she watched Harm and Jackson spread the blanket and start pulling out the food. She could hear Jackson's voice carry across the park as he spoke quickly. "Sir, you're going to come and watch? It's just a preseason game, but it's for the coaches to decide the team for next season. Gonna be going to UVA anyway, I just want to make the starting lineup."

Harm was good with the young man, listening and chipping in when the time was right. Mac smiled as she heard Harm release a loud laugh.

"Well Ma'am, we should go grab some food before my brother eats all of it." Jade said with a soft smile.

Mac nodded, unconsciously pulling her sleeves down. "There is a lot of food…"

"You don't know Jack. I've seen him hoover a pound of hamburger…and then ask me what's for dinner." Jade laughed.

Harm stared at Jade with a look of pleading that Jackson and Mac both missed. Jade rolled her eyes and mouthed, "GIVE ME TIME" before turning back to her plate of salad and vegetables.

Jackson looked at his watch. "Jade…I gotta get to the field for the team meeting in about 20 minutes."

"I'll take you Jack. I'm finished eating anyway, it'll give the Major and Jade some time to finish eating." Harm said quickly.

Jade opened her mouth to protest before shrugging. "We'll catch up with you."

Mac nodded and watched as the two guys leave in Harm's SUV. She turned her attention to Jade who suddenly found interest with the park surroundings.


	5. Chapter 5

Jackson looked over at Harm who was driving towards the University Campus

Jackson looked over at Harm who was driving towards the University Campus. "Sir…do you think it's a good idea to leave my sister….and the Major together?" He wrinkled his face up.

Harm laughed. "Jackson, I'm sure they'll be fine."

"I'm not so sure Sir." Jackson said shaking his head. "You've never witnessed my sister angry. If I was a gambler…I would put my money on Jade."

"The Major can handle her own."

Shrugging his broad shoulders Jackson sank lower into his seat. "Sir, don't hold it against me if the Major is dead."

--

"You know they left us so we could do all the cleaning." Mac said looking at the spread of food.

Jade smiled. "Probably." She took a deep breath. She promised Harm that she would help him out, and after all of the help that he had done for them, she owed him. "Ma'am…can we…uh…talk?"

"What do you have on your mind Jade?" Mac asked. The girl's face turned about thirty shades of red. She took a deep breath and appeared to calm herself down.

"May I be frank Ma'am?"

Mac nodded.

"The Commander knows." Jade spit out.

"Knows?"

Jade sighed. "Yes. Knows." She reached over and gently pulled up one of Mac's sleeves to reveal pristine white bandages. Mac scrambled and roughly pulled the sleeve down. Her face was red with anger.

"Excuse me, but it's NONE of your business and I don't see how you, Little Miss, can understand ANYTHING that is going on." Mac said, her anger seething.

Jade's expression changed from friendly to defiance. Her jaw tightened and her green eyes narrowed. "MA'AM," she said, her voice dropping "I am not doing this for me. The Commander, Harm, asked me to and I felt like I owed him to do this." She angrily pushed her sleeves up to the elbows. She thrust her arms out. "I'm pretty sure I understand EVERYTHING perfectly fine." She was shaking. Her mouth was a small straight line, her eyes narrowed and defiant. "Ma'am, I'm not here to screw around. It's not as if THIS is exactly easy on me. Harm doesn't know how to talk to you about it."

Mac chewed on her lower lip as she looked at the girl. Her demeanour softened. "Jade, I'm sorry. I…" He voice trailed off.

Jade rolled her eyes and roughly pushed her sleeves down. Flipping her hair over her shoulder she shrugged. "Forget it." She began to pick up the empty containers and put them in a garbage bag.

Reaching out and grabbing the young woman by her arm, Mac stopped her. "Jade. Listen. I'm…sorry. It's just…"

Jade put the bag down. "I know. You don't want anyone to know. I've been there. Done that." Her eyes lightened, her face softened. "Ma'am…it took me four years before I could even say anything to anyone. I had no one. Just me, James and Jackie. You Ma'am…you have the Commander." Mac's mouth opened to protest before Jade put up her hand. "No, I know. You're just partners, best friends. Trust me Ma'am, he's given me the rundown. But that doesn't change anything. He cares for you deeply, and it's hurting him seeing you like this."

Mac sighed. "It's just that…I don't…"

"Open up? Yeah, the Commander told me." Jade smiled a lopsided grin. She shrugged "All the Commander wants to do is help you, Major. You should probably take him up on his offer."

Her brown eyes searched the face of the younger woman. "Did Harm…I mean the Commander help you out?"

"I wasn't exactly forthcoming Ma'am. I went from being a high school student…to…a full time parent of two boys. It was a little much to handle." She shrugged. "I didn't want to kill myself…I just…it was a way for me to handle the stress. I had to be strong on the outside, but on the inside I was a wreck."

Mac nodded. There was something about the girl that reminded her so much of herself. The way she walked, the way she handled herself. "I…understand about needing to be strong." She stopped and watched Jade fold up the blanket. "Why didn't you go into the military?"

"Besides the fact that I had to take care of Thing One and Thing Two?" She shrugged. "I'm just not cut out for the military Ma'am. I have a problem with authority." Jade said grinning. "That, and I saw the way my parents had to work to keep our family as normal as possible. I don't know if I have the strength to do that sort of thing." She looked at her watch. "Well Ma'am. I guess I did all I can. We should leave so we don't miss the game. If I'm late Jack will throw a fit."

--

Harm moved over when he saw Jade and Mac file into the stadium. Jade nodded and sat down on the one side of Harm, Mac on the other.

Jade elbowed him in the ribs. "So, did Jack talk your ear off on the ride here?"

"Some of the way. He also said to expect one of you two dead." He looked between the two women. Jade rolled her eyes and Mac blushed.

Their conversation stopped when the teams took the field.

"What number is he?" Mac asked over Harm.

"He's number 9. Midfielder." Jade said pointing out to the field where they looked like mini armies wearing navy blue and orange. "He's the youngest on roster. It's just a scrimmage against Duke to see who's gonna be on the team."

"Duke?! That's my alma matter!" Mac said with a grin.

Harm shook his head. "Don't SAY that Mac! We're gonna get shot or at least beaten to death." He moaned. Fans around them turned at the work Duke and glared. "I love UVA!" Harm said with a grin raising his fist.

Jade laughed and raised her eyebrows. "Ma'am. If you cheer for Duke…you can go sit over here." She motioned to a section of blue. "Because Ma'am…I'm not willing to get thrown out."

Harm shot Mac a pleading look. She gave him a small smile and pulled her sleeves down. An unconscious habit that seemed to gnaw at him.

--

"Great game Jackson!" Harm said thumping the youth on the back.

Jackson looked up and grinned, his green eyes flashing. "Thanks sir. I thought I played well enough." He shrugged.

"Yeah, 4 goals and 5 assists is pretty decent." Jade said rolling her eyes.

A group of girls wearing the shortest skirts possible and the tightest shirts ever invented came up and pushed them out of the way. Harm and Mac exchanged amused glances as Jade frowned. Jackson revelled in the new found fame before he caught his sister's icy glare. He quietly separated himself from the pack.

"Big man on campus?" Harm joked with a grin.

The boy turned a few different shades of red. "They're…" he looked at his sister and Mac before leaning in and whispering in Harm's ear "Lacrossetatutes, sir."

"WHAT?!" Harm asked laughing. He gave the boy an elbow to the ribs.

Jackson shrugged. "I didn't name them." He looked around. "Hey, is there any food leftover? I'm starving."

Jade shook her head. "Again?"

"Yeah. I'm starved."

Harm put his arm around boy. "I'm pretty sure that I can afford to take you two out."

"Sure about that sir?"

It was Jackson's turn to glare. "I have only been kicked out of an all you can eat buffet ONCE thank you very much."

Harm laughed. "You and the Marine here can sit at your own table."

Mac rolled her eyes. "Thanks a lot sailor."


	6. Chapter 6

"So, was I right

"So, was I right?" Harm asked with a smile.

Mac looked at Harm, her eyebrows knotted in confusion. "Right?"

"About you having fun...and like Jack and Jade."

"Oh. Yes, you were right." Mac said. "I had a good time. And I like Jackson and Jade. Jade reminds me...a bit of me when I was younger."

Harm chuckled. "I doubt you were..." He paused trying to find the right words. "As interesting as Jade is. Is...everything okay?"

Mac shrugged. "I...do you want a coffee?"

"Changing the subject?"

"Harm...if you want to hear...it's going to be a long story. I just thought that you would like a coffee." Mac said frowning.

"Hey...Marine. I'm just teasing you." Harm said reaching out and placing his hand over hers. "Anytime you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen."

Swallowing hard, Mac looked at Harm, his eyes a soft shade of blue. She rolled up her sleeves to reveal the white bandages and gauged Harm's reaction. He had obviously braced himself, as all he did was flinch slightly. Slowly and deliberately he reached out and gently ran his fingers down the gauze, as if his touch alone could heal her.

"Why? Is it...me?" He looked up at her, his face bearing the lines of pain and confusion. "Did I...us...we...drive you to do this to yourself?"

She closed her eyes. She knew he could read her like an open book and she didn't want him to. "Harm...a lot of things. It started...with Dal...me drinking again. I thought I was over it when Mic came into my life. But I wasn't. And he just made things worse."

"Did he hurt you?" Harm asked through gritted teeth.

"Harm...calm down. No, he didn't hurt me. Physically at least. He just made me feel...worthless. And that I would always be worthless unless I was with him." She saw Harm's jaw clench, the muscles in his neck tighten.

"And me?"

"You caused me...a lot of stress." She smiled.

"Am I...?" He moitioned to her arms with his head.

"No. Not at all Harm." She shrugged. "Everything. Work, people, life."

"I know you're strong Marine. But…it doesn't mean you have to shut me out of your life. I…was about to lose you forever." He grabbed her hands tightly. "And I don't ever want that to happen. You mean too much to me."

Part of Mac wanted to pull away, rip her hands from his strong grasp and run. Run as far away as her legs could take her and never look back. It scared her. He scared her. The raw emotion that dripped from his words scared her. The way he looked at her scared her.

Harm chewed on the inside of his lower lip. The look on her face was guarded, her eyes huge. He ran his thumbs gently over the back of her hands, his eyes searching her face. "Mac…I…want you to know that I would never do anything to hurt you."

"I know Harm."

Their faces were inches apart. "Mac…Sarah…I l—" He started before Mac pressed a finger to his lips.

"Harm…" She warned.

"Like you a lot." He finished with a grin. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Mac shrugged. "No. But I could get hit by a car tomorrow Harm. You can't be sure of everything."

"I just want to keep you safe. Is there…anyone you can…talk to?"

"Like a shrink?" Mac asked raising her eyebrows.

"Just someone to talk to. I mean…if it helps." He backtracked slowly. "I don't want to push you into anything…"

Mac smiled, thinking of the conversation she had with Jade. "Sometimes I need a little pushing."

"But not a shove?" He asked with a lopsided grin.

"Not a shove."

Harm wrapped his arms around Mac tightly. "You know that I really care about you, right?"

Mac mumbled into his strong chest. "Yeah."

"And I would do nothing to hurt you, right?"

"Yeah. Why all the questions all of a sudden Sailor?"

"Just wanted to make sure you knew." He kissed the top of her head.

"I always knew." She replied without releasing him.

"I really…l—" He stopped and looked down.

"NOT THE L WORD!" Mac exclaimed with a small smile.

"Like you a lot."

And right now, that was good enough. For both of them.


End file.
